I DO WANT WHAT I HAVEN'T GOT

STILLNESS

OFTTIMES WHERE




How many times have I wondered where you are?
Where exactly did you go?

Last night as I drifted off, I found myself sitting in our old house, waiting. You breezed in, young again, shining.
In awe I said 'you are so beautiful'.
You smile, as only you could, and I see you with as much of me as possible, knowing that you will soon be off again.
When I woke, I kept as still as can be, unblinking, like you were on that last day.
If I pretend to be you, will I feel what you were feeling?
Will I know what you were thinking?
Will I feel the comfort of your warm cheek against mine for the last time?
If I keep really still, will I know?

All curled up you were.
So quietly leaving us you were.

How many times have I lied there, so still, wondering?

Is this letting go?